what kind of gayness is THAT?
a) going to the store VERY LATE. Earlier I totally pulled a Pete Wentz and went to the grocery store at a time of night when only people on booze runs and blue-haired grannies are out and about. Let me tell you how rock 'n roll THAT was. Wow.
b) coming home and making pasta salad for a thousand hours. I don't know why it doesn't taste AMAZING, I only spent a lifetime cutting up feta and zesting lemons and all this other bullshit. I've lost my salad-fu.
c) engaging in Kitchen Dance Party: Vol. Torment The Landlord, Episode 539,403. Typically Kitchen Dance Party needs at least 2-3 more roommates plus a liberal dose of Nsync, but I held it down pretty well.
d) poking around on buzznet, aka the blunt instrument with which I like to lower my IQ. While I was there searching for...something, I remembered how I'd read somebody saying somewhere, "Gabe has rapist eyes!" and how I'd thought at the time, pfft, sure, yeah, what does that even MEAN. GOD WAS I WRONG. I mean.
There are 3 normal people in this photo. And then there's the psycho killer on the right. No big deal. Just, you know. Watch out for that.
Amazingly, people don't seem to notice. Famous people, even.
I love how everyone looks mostly normal in this photo. Or, as normal as any of these people ever look, but that's beside the point. And then there's Gabe. LURKING. Lurking like a creep who wants to watch the light in your eyes die in a back alley, and then make a coat out of your epidermis.
Girls, especially, do not seem to notice Psycho Eyes. Is this the face of a nice Jewish vegetarian who went to Rutgers? NO. NO IT IS NOT. This is the face that you see when you're locked in the basement. Keep talking about PETA all you want, Saporta, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. He will not take you home to meet his parents. He will take you home to meet a radiator and some rusty chains. True facts.
Please to note that the Pyscho Eyes picspam ends here, not because I ran out of examples, but because I ran out of energy to upload them.
Then that Midtown cover of "Your Love" came up on my ipod during my Kitchen Dance Partying and, I dunno, that had always seemed like an innocuous yet enjoyable song before, but with Psycho Eyes singing it? The skeeve factor jumps 3000%. "I like my girls a litle bit older"? WHY DID I NEVER NOTICE HOW WEIRD THAT IS. God. I kind of wish Midtown had done a video. Like, Gabe in tight white jeans, slinking around with Psycho Eyes on full effect. I wonder if he can switch them on and off, like hi-beams? Like, to stun prey and confuse his enemies? Questions for the ages.
d) finally, you've all seen the original My Chemical Romance plays D&D vid, yes? Or, don't answer that, whatever. Someone made part two, which is AWESOME and necessary and every day that Gerard Way does not speak in this voice is a day without sunshine or joy. Next I would like to see Panic! at the Disco play Magic: The Gathering. Let's make this happen.